IMG (GUY) Revealed: Week #4 of the IMG Cleanse

I'm a little delayed this "week" in getting my update for the IMG Cleanse up, but... you know what?  It's okay.  It's enough, which goes right along with this week's focus.  Whoo hoo!  Before I get started with that, though, I'm going to go back and reflect upon the progress I made last week.

So, we gave ourselves permission to live obligation free...  One thing I noticed was the fact that I don't tend to "should" all over myself.  Nor did could I get my mind around "getting to" do something.  I did catch a few "have to's" in there, though.  But what I did notice is that I tended to change those to "need to's".  As if that is any better!

"I need to do this" and "I need to do that"...  It was never as dire as that, but it still denotes obligation AND "need"...  Well, to me that instills visions of one's life depending on it.

HOWEVER, I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  That is, after all, what my IMG wants, right?  No, we'll just mark this one up to progress made in awareness and go from here all the wiser and more vigilant.

One thing I did mention previously is that my IMG isn't as much of an Inner Mean Girl, as it is an Inner Mean GUY.  It was something that I woke up thinking about one morning recently, and it was then that I realized...  He's my dad!

I recall an argument that he and I got into when I was in my mid-teens.  The last line I recall getting out was "well, I must be a really bad person because nothing I do is good enough for you!"  Wow!  And it is not as though I had ever forgotten about that, BUT it has been just since I have been doing this cleanse that I've realized how much I truly took that to heart.  "Nothing I do is good enough..."  What a WEIGHT that puts on a person's shoulders because one's always striving TO do "good enough" and always falls short, mentally.

Now, I am most certainly NOT blaming my dad for my tendency as an adult to mentally beat up on myself.  I'm a believer that there is a lesson to learn from everything, and I'm way beyond trying to place blame on my past.  After all, I'M the one that is responsible for where I go from "here".  It does explain, though, why I see my Inner Mean Person as a guy.

So, on to this week's focus... Unrealistic Expectations...  OH!  This is a good one, especially in light of this past week's realization.  Don't you agree?

The two antidotes that we're focusing on are:

1) Under promise.  Over deliver.  This is going to be a rather difficult one.  There are times - though, not as often as previously - where I will promise the moon and deliver one of those little model solar systems.  Well, not really, but you know what I mean, right?  It goes back to being a recovering people pleaser, I think...

2)  Go for the C.  Give 80% instead of 100%.  I have never been much of an achievement junkie.  My grades from high school will attest to that fact.   I will definitely keep it in mind, but focus more on under promising and over delivering... *wink*

Until next time... Have a fabulous week everyone!

I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40-day Cleanse as a Self-Love Ambassador.
To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self-love gift from the founders of
 the Inner Mean Girl Reform School

The IMG Cleanse - Weekly Roundup #2

Welcome back to the continuing of saga of Girl vs the IMG.  When last we left Dawna, she was becoming aware of all the instances that she tends to collude with others in gossip and spew forth toxic words...

So, how'd I do?  Well, I think I would have liked to have done better.  I became aware of all the times that toxicity, like sludge, bubbled from my mouth.  The good news is that I put a stop to it.  The "bad" news - though I hesitate to label it thusly - is that, more times than not, I froze or, in some instances, ran away... literally.  I didn't know what else to say instead.

At least I became aware...  It was a victory, in and of itself.

On to this week...  Becoming aware of and battling the Comparison Queen.  OH!  She is one of my arch-nemesis.  Both with her Mask of Inferiority, as well as Superiority.  Though, more often than not, she likes to take the approach of making me feel inferior because, in all honesty, it is where she finds the path of least resistance, I think.

Which areas does she prefer to strike?

My weight/body.  "Everyone is getting skinny, but you.  Aren't they looking good?  And you?  You're still fat.  No matter what you do, you'll remain that way."  Which, if our thoughts do indeed create our reality, I suspect is why I can exercise and eat right and lose nothing to show for it.

My writing.  "Did you read his/her words?  Weren't they great?  Too bad you can't write something of the sort.  And (where blogs are concerned) look at how many followers she/he has, and all those commenters.  What do you have to show for your efforts?  Oh... Look at that.  Nothing."


My house, my clothes, my abilities (you name it), etc.   Everything and anything that can be used to compare me to anyone else.

It was a discussion that I was having with my kids the other day.  My IMG?  I might have mentioned that I've run into "it" before.  Only, at the time, I pictured it to be a HIM.  An old, pompous man of high social standing, who looks down his nose at EVERYONE, especially me.

I may just have to hunt through my documents and find the conversation he and I had (as one-sided as it may have been) not to long ago.  He was really rather cruel in his tirade concerning my writing and creativity, but it is something that I've been working to get past, and whether my Inner Critic be male or female or a whole slew of personas matters not.  Through this 40-day Inner Cleanse, we'll be working together by the end of it.

Here Amy and Christine speak about comparison and ways that we can transform it into something positive.



Interested in joining us? It's still time! Hope you'll join us in this wonderful exercise in awareness as we move toward greater self love...

I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40-day Cleanse as a Self-Love Ambassador.
To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self-love gift from the founders of
 the Inner Mean Girl Reform School

Oh the Stories You'll Tell

Several entries ago, I know that I mentioned that I was planning to participate in a month long workshop.  At the time, I was very excited.  In truth, I didn't think I could become anymore excited.  That was until we started today!

Now, I must admit that my inner critic started to rear its ugly head last night as I began reading through the wonderful introductions made by the other participants.  Wow!  Words are simply inadequate (at this point, at least lol) to express what a wonderful group of women - artists - that I have the honor of playing with in this creative sandbox of sorts this month.  I was floored, to be honest, and just a little intimidated.

All the while, in the background of my mind, the IC was whispering to me, "what have you gotten yourself into?  These women are artists.  REAL artists.  Most of them do it for a living.  You're just playing at creativity.  What do you hope to offer?"  Yes, like most, my IC can be quite scathing in its comments.  This afternoon, however...  Once I finally had some time to really sit down and begin reading the offerings coming from the rest of the participants.  I realize that many of us are in the same boat.  Even the most creative of beings have moments when they, too, question their talents.

As I said, though, I was really quite excited going into this workshop.  When I thought I couldn't become more excited, I was surprised to find that I could!  I am filled to the brim with joy.  So much so that it has, indeed, brought tears to my eyes.  This, I am realizing, is something so much more than I first imagined it would be.  It is not only an exercise in getting in touch with my creative side, but in getting in touch with me, my inner artist/child.  After all, our inner child is our inner/innate fountain of inspiration and how quickly we tend to discount her/him.

More to come as this beautifully vivid experience unfolds...