The IMG Cleanse - Weekly Roundup #3

Things have been rather chaotic this week.  Such is generally the case, though, with the first week of school.  Especially given that my littlest (Little D) started Pre-K this year.  We're having to get in a bit of a flow where our schedules are concerned.  Toss a doctor's appointment or two into the mix, it makes for interesting times, indeed.

I'm still here, though, and I'm still workin' the Inner Mean Girl (IMG) Cleanse...

Last week was interesting for me.  I realized that I did tend to compare myself to others, but I didn't realize to what extent or even what form that comparison took.  For me... COMPETITION.

By nature, I'm a competitive person.  This is something that I've long been aware of, but until this week, I didn't realize that it can be a form of comparison.  Nor did I realize how vocal my IMG can be or what approaches she utilizes to spur me along.  "Oooh!  Watch out!  She's doing better than you.  You better step it up, or you're going to be left behind."

Awareness.  That's the first big step, right?  Only by being aware can I work with it...

This week, we're giving ourselves "Permission To Live Obligation Free".  This is a BIG one for me, and something that I've already begun to monitor.

I am one that will run through my mental to-do list, and quite often, I will say to myself that I "have to do this" and I "have to do that".  The more I think about it, it DOES weigh me down.  And as I'm learning from all the other Work, it's how we approach/view something that determines whether it's something positive or negative in our lives.

In addition to this, I'm a recovering people pleaser.  So, "naturally", there has always been quite a bit that I have added to my to-do list that is for no other reason than I'm trying to make someone happy so that I, in turn, can be happy myself.  Wow!  Does that add the feeling of obligation to something really quickly!

So, I'm turning my way of thinking around.  I don't "have to" do anything!  I do it because in many ways, it's my way of expressing love beyond merely mouthing words.  I make my kids' lunches every school night, not because it saves us money and is healthier for them, BUT because I LOVE THEM and want them to eat more healthy foods AND it leaves more money in the bank account for us to do more fun things as a family.  It's just a matter of changing my way of thinking as I'm doing these things...

In addition to this... I'm taking the attitude, if I don't LOVE it, in some way, shape or form, then it has no business being in my life.  Plain and simple.

Everything that exists within our realm of influence engages in an exchange of energy with us.  It is our decision how much energy we give and whether what we receive in return is worth it or not.

For instance... even a chair can engage in an exchange of energy with us.  We have to clean it.  That is a form of giving it our energy, but if we don't LIKE that chair, and we curse it for one reason or another... it is taking more of our energy.  If it is not bringing us pleasure in exchange...  Well, to my way of thinking, it's time to send it on its way and to someone else that may get the pleasure that we fail to get out of it.

This is a little diversion from the focus of the IMG Cleanse, but does support the idea behind simplifying (ie de-cluttering).  If you don't love it, send it on its way!

So, until next week's update/round-up, hang in there.  Reprogramming is never easy.  Believe me!  The IMG's had many years to become devious and deceptive.  Changes do not happen overnight.  Be gentle with yourself, and they will come.

If you haven't joined us for the IMG Cleanse, yet.  There's still time!  (You're never behind.)  Everything is right on the website.  The information, the videos, the interviews.  It's all there for a "go at your own pace" approach.  I'm certain you'll be glad you did.  I know I am!

I am participating in the Inner Mean Girl 40-day Cleanse as a Self-Love Ambassador.
To thank me for my participation, I will receive a self-love gift from the founders of
 the Inner Mean Girl Reform School

De-cluttering and Gaining Peace Of Mind

As I mentioned upon my "return" to the blogosphere, I received a book entitled Life's Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide To Domestic Liberation by Lisa Quinn prior to my sudden hiatus.  Most recently, I have had a better opportunity to start going through it.  I say "start" because as I get into it, I realize that I'm going on what I would describe as "domestic tangents", which will last for days, if not weeks.  So, while it's not really that thick of a book, it's taking some time for me to get through it.

I am beginning to make big changes around here.  Some things have been mulling about in my head for awhile now, but the words and information to be found in the book, have been assisting me in implementing much of them.

Now, if you could see my copy of the book...  Well, it's littered with post it notes, which act as marks for quick/future reference.  There are also quite a few spots in it that I've highlighted.  There's really quite a few ideas and bits of information that I want to keep track of.  One thing about this book, though, is that it's not all about one's home and taking care of it.  No, it does guide the reader to look within and address those things that pushes one toward going over the top where one's domesticity is concerned.

As I've mentioned before - quite possibly back over at Hiccups In Time - I am something of a recovering perfectionist.  Well... who am I kidding?  I AM a recovering perfectionist.  In the past, everything has had to match what I have pictured in my head, and if it's not...  I have tended to cycle between overwhelm, shut-down, and then depression.  It is something that I have worked on and CONTINUE to work on because with three kids - one being a preschooler - things just don't seem to stay clean around here for long.

So, while I've been meaning to put some of Lisa's tips to use in my own home...  I've been having to get things in order around here FIRST.  That way, I can have a sound starting point.  That, in and of itself, has been something of a chore.  Especially given that, admittedly, I've been coming out of the shut-down portion that followed the overwhelm after DH left for Afghanistan the second time (after R&R).

Let me tell you... that has been a chore, but I've not allowed my inner perfectionist to get the better of me.  I've been doing a little at a time.  Things didn't get in disarray overnight, and I keep reminding myself that things aren't going to be "perfect" overnight either.

"Less Is More"


This is the spot that I've been focusing on most of late.  ESPECIALLY before the weather turns to a "winter wonderland".  After all, it makes it exceedingly difficult to haul the clutter out and disperse of it when everything is covered in a perpetual blanket of snow.

I think what spurred me to action most was Lisa's list...

You're Out of Control If:

- You have more than three "junk drawers".  When I was honest with myself, I realized I had a lot more than that, even if I didn't call it "junk".

- You have to navigate piles to get through your home.

- Your closet contains clothes from three years ago - that don't fit.  I'd already gone through that quite some time ago.  So, I WAS ahead of the game, if only by a little bit.

- All the horizontal surfaces in your home (desktops, countertops, ledges, tables, and mantels) are completely covered.   They're not all covered, but there are a few spots that I have difficulties remembering what they looked like when we moved in.

- Things fall out of your car when you open the door.  Yes, I'm guilty of this.  My little Prius does tend to get filled to overflowing with stuff, especially given that we are a family of 5, usually.

- You can't park in your garage.  Is that what a garage is for???  I had no idea... *said tongue in cheek*

- You find yourself shuffling piles around all day because they have no real home.  I'm not that bad.  I just shove them in the desk drawer, which I don't think is really a solution, is it?

- You have papers from high school.

- You spend an unreasonable amount of time trying to find things in your home.  In my defense, things don't generally tend to remain where I put them, anyway.  The kids tend to use them and move them on me, as kids tend to do.  I recall my own mom saying "why can't I ever find anything?" a time or two and I having been the reason behind it.

- You have trouble relaxing or being productive in your home because of the clutter.  Oh, Heavens, yes!

- You have unopened mail from months ago.  Guilty as charged.

- You have lids but no containers (or vice versa). Ditto.

- Your filing system is basically one file, full as a tick, with everything crammed into it.  Um... no.  Refer back to the desk drawers...

- You don't invite people over because you are embarrassed.

- You always hate the way your home looks.  It's beginning to turn around, at least.

So... I'm taking one room/area at a time.  The garage was worked on a week or so ago.  We did have a yard sale, but everything that didn't sell didn't stay after that.  There's still more to do, but I'm well on my way, at least.

And while it's taking me a bit of time to go through the book, I'm certainly glad that it has come my way.  It really goes along with much of what I'm doing around here with regard to simplifying.  It's not as much of a destination, though, as it is a journey, and I'll definitely share more in the future as I continue to make changes with it as one of my inspirations.

Disclosure:  I was gifted with a copy of Ms Quinn's book to review.  However, my enthusiasm for it is spurred by nothing more than the results I'm seeing in my perspectives, as well as my home.

Back On Track

At some point most recently, I found myself derailed.  Unlike the Little Train That Could, I lost track of the fact that I "could", and with a decrease in momentum, I found myself losing footing and backing down the tracks.  Seemingly, I returned to where I had begun.

I allowed myself to become overwhelmed, I suppose.  It is not as though I've had a lot on my plate, after all. *said tongue in cheek*  Three kids and contending with a deployment.  That, with life's little ups and down, can bet quite a bit for one to deal with at times.

I'm back on the tracks, though, and, fueled by renewed awareness of my inner self, I'm ready to start making my way up this hill once more.

There is quite a bit on the horizon here.  "New" tools to assist me on this journey, which I plan to share with all of you...

Prior to my "meltdown", I was gifted with a wonderful book by Lisa Quinn.  Life's Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide to Domestic Liberation.  I started reading it, and found myself really quite entertained by the lighthearted manner in which she shares her own journey as a "recovering Martha Stewart junkie".  More than that, I found hope restored within me that - while not a perfectionist where my house is concerned (after all, as any parent of a preschooler knows, it's nearly next to impossible to be so) - I am not a horrible spouse and parent because I am not.  And while having been sidetracked by life and not yet to the meat of the text, I am hoping and looking forward to receiving pearls of wisdom on how to make it look as though I am a Martha Stewart clone, yet without expending the actual energy to do so.  I'll let you know, along the way, how it goes... *wink*

In addition to this...  I have, for quite a number of years, taken a distinct interest where spirituality is concerned.  Now, please do not equate this to "being religious".  I just feel that there is so much more to know and be beyond this world, as we consciously know it.  I know that I AM so much more than the labels that I, and others, attempt to affix to me.

As part of my search... my journey... I came across a book by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer yesterday entitled Your Sacred Self: Making the Decision To Be Free.  To my way of thinking, learning to be free of the stuff/garbage/debris that I have mentally accumulated throughout my life up to this point is part and parcel to this journey toward simplicity.

Now, I've only made it to chapter 2 since purchasing it yesterday, but I have high hopes for it as well, and it will be something that I will be sharing along the way, too.


While at the bookstore, I also came across a book with regard to simplicity.  It was something of a notebook with tabs and illustrated, step by step, ways to simplify your environment, as well as your life.  Unfortunately, I didn't get it and cannot remember the title, but I do hope to pick it up next payday.  Once I do, I'll share my experiences with it, as well.

It's all a journey, and a personal one at that.  None of us take the same path as any other, but it is in the sharing, I believe, that we receive insight in to the ways that are possible in arriving at the end and desire destination.  It is in that vein that these things will be shared...

Going Full Circle

This past weekend, my kids and I were able to share in the joyful celebration that was their great-grandfather's 90th birthday party.  90 YEARS!  The thought simply amazes me and reminds me that life, at 40, isn't even half over...

Throughout the celebration there was a video playing that was comprised of pictures from Grandpa's life...

Now, I must say that I did enjoy viewing the pictures of my own family (Dh and the kids), including the ones of Dh when he was kid.  They helped me to see how far we have come over the years... how much we've changed and grown up.  The photographs that I must admit to having enjoyed the most, though, were the ones of Grandpa when he was a child, himself.

I can't say that I know a lot about Dh's Grandpa.  The things I do know Dh has told me or those things I've picked up through conversation.  Such as the fact that he lived on a farm for most of his life, and, given the dates that were attached to the photographs in the video... he grew up during the Depression.

You know, though...  While looking at them, I noticed one thing.  Even during tough times... they were still smiling.  My thought is that it was due to the fact that they knew the secret to happiness...

As I was growing up, I didn't have much extended family around me, and when I did, it seemed there was nothing but bickering that occurred between them and my parents.  Needless to say, for the most part, we weren't a very tight knit family on either side.  It's only been in the most recent of years that I've truly realized how important family is.  It is a lesson that I don't think I would have ever really learned without Dh's help.  I now know, though - from this weekend past - where he learned it.

Near the end of the party, there were "speeches" made.  No one had anything but glowing remarks to say about Grandpa.  How he has been a wonderful role model and how he never hesitated to make sacrifices for his family...  He grew up in a different time.  A time when the focus of life was more upon the intangible things that money can't buy.  Back when the way of being was more... simple.

And here we - his grandchildren - are... after all the "progress" that has been made by our nation... our world... trying to get back to that simple way of being.  Who would have ever known that it would be, at times, so difficult?

I am happy to say, though, we do have one piece of the puzzle in place...  the importance of family.  Because... without family and the love of others, the whole long trek really isn't worth a hill of beans.

Re-Paving This Road

Most recently, I wrote a post over at Hiccups In Time entitled "Life Is A Highway That Sometimes Needs Repaving".  And down each highway, there are many roads that can be taken...  Such is the case with our lives.  Not to mention the blogosphere.

Wow!  There are SO MANY blogs out there.  Some don't always make it, and others...  Well, they get published in for YEARS.  It stands to reason, though, given that most blogs are based around a certain niche or focal interest, and interests... aspects of life change periodically.  And, if your niche is too narrow, and you lose your interest - either in that particular subject matter OR in blogging in general...  Your creativity for it is likely going to run out of steam.

I first started this blog, which is currently entitled "My Fractal Reality", before I ever knew what I was doing within the blogosphere.  I started it because I thought it would be fun, and it would encompass all of the interests I am passionate about within my life.  I thought it would reduce my need for so many online journals/blogs.

Since then, though, I've learned SO MUCH with regard to blogging in the blogosphere (but I'm certain there is STILL so much MORE to be learned).  Among those things that I've learned is 1) if your blog niche is too narrow, it may very well putter out in time and 2) if your blog niche is too wide, you're going to lose the interest of your readers.  Quite often, they come to you for a particular reason.  Usually, because they are interested in your defined niche.  If it gets too broad, you may begin posting things that they're really not terribly interested in, AND if you post about things they're not interested in on a consistent basis, you're going to lose their interest and readership.

SO... it is with that in mind that I have decided to start another blog.  This will be my 3rd blog, which I intend to keep active.  For those keeping score...  I currently have Hiccups In Time, which is primarily about the stories that exist within life as a mother and military spouse, and A Lost Girl Unleashed, which is about the whimsical world of my inner child.  It is about the stories of fantasy and "childish" art.  This one has yet to be re-named, BUT it will encompass my ramblings as my family and I make our way to a more simplistic life.  Things I learn.  Our experiments (ie our successes, as well as "failures").

Our society as a whole has progressed so far from the American Dream our ancestors held to be "self evident".  It's become complicated, entangled in those things that are superficial and disingenuous.  Such is, at least, the way that I see it from my personal perspective.

Slowly, ever so slowly, our family is making our way back to a more simple way of being, which in some ways is a rather difficult thing to do while still living in the heart of the hustle and bustle.  This journal is being re-purposed or "re-paved", to be something of a "side road" that I'm taking on my greater journey through life.  So, please watch for and be careful of the clouds of construction dust I'll be creating in the days to come.  I hope you will continue to join me, though, because it is and will be one heck of a ride.